Why?
by emmacharming2
Summary: Emma deals with the pain and moves forward. All from Emma's point of view. Focuses on her relationship with her parents mostly and a little bit with Henry and Hook.
1. Chapter 1

****Slight break from my other story. This will be short only 3 or 4 chapters long. **Takes place about 11 months after season 3 finale. Hook and Emma were together for a while, they didn't break up or anything but Emma's been pushing him away as well as her parents. Don't forget to review, want to know what you guys think!***

**Why?**

**Chapter 1**

"Have a fun weekend!" Emma hugged her son Henry and handed him his backpack. She was dropping him off at Regina's for the weekend. They were all at a good place with Regina but she hated sharing Henry. Henry was her whole world and watching him hug Regina only made her heart burn with envy. Regina had his early years and she hated that. But it was her choice, she chose to give him away.

Henry waved goodbye and went inside with his other mom and Emma just stood there for a few moments just feeling empty inside.

Their apartment they shared with her new found parents and baby brother were a few blocks away so she just walked Henry to Regina's. It was a nice evening and she wasn't ready to go back home yet. Ever since she and Hook watched her parents meet, and watched her mother die she never missed her parents more. And she'd been realizing how much needed them. Eleven months had passed and she was slowly starting to put the same old walls up again, she was subtly pulling away from them. She decided to take a stroll through the park first. It was a nice evening and she needed to be alone with her thoughts.

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25 Years Ago

The yelling was hurting her ears. She held her baby blanket over her face as she cried. The only thing she had from her parents, her most prized possession meant everything to her. The only connection she had to her parents. Growing up in a group home was never a home at all, the grownups were always yelling at each other and always yelling at the kids. Like every night Emma just laid there crying imagining who her parents were and dreaming of them coming to get her. Every night she thought up a different scenario, it was the only thing that would distract her from her circumstance. She imagined her dad a firefighter, her mom a nurse. She imagined Mike and Carol Brady as her parents. Every scenario she could think of. They were all she wanted, she could never understand why they gave her up. Something must have been wrong with her, why else would they have sent her away? All these thoughts were thoughts 7 year old girls shouldn't be thinking about. She even wished on a star every night wishing they would come for her, she promised to be a good girl in return.

A hand touched her shoulder which made her jump from the fetal position she was lying in. She pulled her blanket from her face and saw one of the other girls that lived there. She was older than Emma, about 13. She sat on the edge of Emma's bed. She smiled. "I'm getting adopted. I'm getting a new family tomorrow."

Emma sniffled and rubbed her eyes, that were all red from crying so much. Why was she telling Emma this? Emma wanted a family too. Why couldn't she get adopted?

"I want you to have this." She handed Emma a picture book. "It's called Snow White and the seven dwarves. Whenever I felt lonely or sad or scared I would pull this book out. It reminded me there's always hope. And I held onto that hope and now I'm getting a family so I don't need it anymore. You should hold onto hope too. You will have a family too one day."

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Present Day

Emma walked by the site where Henry's old castle used to be. She reminisced about the times she would meet him there, it was their special place where they would brainstorm for Operation Cobra. Henry had grown so much since then. He was so small back then now he was only about a head shorter than Emma.

She kept walking and came to the playground Regina built after tearing down Henry's castle. It was so modern looking. She liked Henry's castle better. She stood still in her tracks when she realized two familiar people pushing an infant in a swing. They were facing the other way so they didn't know she was there so she stood watching them.

Her parents were giggling as they were pushing baby Neal in the swing. It was total family bliss. Neal was giggling too. She couldn't help but imagine herself as a baby at the park with her parents. Would they be having as much fun with her? Would they be giggling? Would they be just as happy being a family with her?

They stopped pushing the swing and Snow picked up Neal kissing him on the cheek. He was growing fast too. His hair was growing in a bit, dirty blonde just a shade or two darker than Emma's but his face looked a lot like Snow's. Charming put his hand on his son's head and smiled then they looked up and saw Emma.

"Emma." Snow smiled and walked over to her. "You got our text?"

"Oh... uh no. Did you text me?" Emma pulled out her phone and opened the text:

_Hey, taking Neal to the park. Love it if u could join us after u drop off Henry. Mom xoxo_

"I was just just going for a walk, it's so nice out."

"Yeah we thought the same thing." Her dad smiled at her.

"Neal looks like he's having fun." Emma smiled at her brother.

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25 Years Ago

Emma stood with the other children watching the older girl drive away with her new parents. It always seemed like other kids were coming and going. They would get adopted but Emma just had to watch everytime. The other kids scattered after the car drove away but Emma just stood there a few moments. Then she pulled out the storybook from her backpack and sat on the step starting to look at it. The evil queen was scary the first time she read through it but after about the third time through Emma thought she seemed sad and hurt. But still she didn't like her going after Snow White. She kept staring at the pictures of Snow White. There was something warm about her, it was like something inside of Emma wanted her. Wanted her badly. Every night since then Emma would pull out that book and look through it instead of crying. It became her new distraction from all the noise. She would keep coming back to the pictures of Snow White and the last few pictures of Prince Charming waking her up with true love's first kiss. She carried it everywhere she went. And she started building something up inside her heart, something she didn't have before then: hope.

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Present Day

Emma slept in till 9am the next morning. She didn't sleep very well that night. She couldn't get her mind to shut down. She kept feeling like she was going to cry but it was like the river inside her dried right up and nothing would come out. She went downstairs to the kitchen and saw Charming and Snow on the floor with Neal. "Good morn-"

"He's doing it, he's doing it!" Emma looked over and Neal was taking his first steps from Charming to Snow. But Emma wasn't looking at her brother. She was looking at her mom and dad's faces it was utter joy and excitement. The look of proud loving parents. Neal walked right into Snow's arms then dropped Snow scooped him up hugging him tight and kissed his forehead and Charming hugged both of them. When they pulled out of their hug Emma was gone.

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Archie poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Emma. "What is it you'd like to talk about?"

"I just... I... I'm not good at this. Only person I've ever confided in before is my mother. But I can't right now... she's happy."

"Happy because of your little brother?" Archie sat down across from Emma.

"Yeah."

"Does this make you feel threatened?"

"Threatened by a little baby? No. I love him."

"You can still love someone and feel jealous of them. It's just what you do with your jealousy, you can handle it with love by dealing with it and letting it go or you can take the other route. Tell me, what do you see when you see your parents with your brother?"

"I see... everything I never had." Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. "He took his first steps this morning... the look on their faces... why couldn't it have been me? Why?"

Archie nodded. "And you'd been holding all this in this passed year?"

"I just... I feel like I'm alone again, sitting in the front row just watching what I'll never have. And Henry and Killian... I just I feel like it's all going to come crashing down. I've let all these people into my life and I'm just going to lose them and I'll be what I've always been just a lost little girl who doesn't matter."

"Emma, you do matter. We would still be cursed if it weren't for you. I know for a fact your parents love you and wanted you. They still want you."

"I don't know... I think Neal gives them everything they want."

"I was there... The Blue Fairy called everyone together to tell your parents about the wardrobe. They didn't want to send you through they did it so you could have a life. If you were cursed you would have stayed a baby forever and you wouldn't have grown up to break the curse. The selfish thing would have been to keep you. She would have her baby but it would have never grown, you wouldn't have had a chance at a life. Plus the queen was out to kill you because you were the saviour."

"It isn't fair. I wanted them. I needed them. I was all alone in the world. And when I had Henry, I was scared. I wanted my mother there with me." Archie handed her a kleenex for the tears that were finally coming.

"Emma, you can't dwell on the past. You'll only miss what's happening right now. I know it hurts you but don't miss out now. You have your parents, your son, your brother, and Hook. You're not alone anymore. Don't push them away." He took a sip of his coffee. "My suggestion to you is spend time with each of your parents separately. One on one. Not when you're fighting for your lives just plan a fun activity away from all that."

"I don't know, I don't want to take them away from Neal."

"You're not. You're both their children and they love you equally. I want that to be your application this week. Spend one on one with your parents then come see me again next week to follow up. Get to know your parents more, find out what you mean to them."

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Emma ordered 3 hot chocolates with cinnamon plus 3 donuts to go from Granny's. She paid for the food and drinks and headed for the door but then she bumped into Hook and the hot chocolates fell on the floor causing a spill. They both bent down to pick it up. Emma looked into his eyes.

"Pardon me, love. I'll clean it up."

"No it's ok, I've got it." They both cleaned it up and Ruby gave her 3 more hot chocolates.

"Here, I'll carry it for you. May I walk with you?"  
Emma nodded and smiled slightly.

"Heading home?"

"Yeah. Henry's with Regina this weekend. Taking hot chocolate home to my parents."

"I miss you my love."  
"I miss you too Killian."

"Then why are you pushing me away?"

"I just... need some time. That's all."

"But we were going so well Swan. We were getting close."

They approached the apartment building. "I can't do this right now... Thanks for walking me home." She took the hot chocolates from him then went inside.

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25 Years Ago

Emma was reading through Snow White one more time before leaving for school one morning. She was sitting on the front door step waiting for the bus. She was lost in the book looking at Snow White's picture when all of a sudden a hand ripped the book from her hands. "Hey that's mine!" She tried taking it back from her foster father.

"You missed that damn school bus! Because you were reading this." He started ripping it up.

"No please don't..." She started crying.

"Stop crying, that is all you ever do. You need to toughen up." He threw the ripped book into the garbage can next to the house then lit a match and threw it on top of the book. Now I'm stuck with you all day because you missed the bus." He grabbed her ear and pulled her inside. He pulled her into the kitchen and opened the cupboard door under the sink. He grabbed a toothbrush and threw it at her. "Now clean. It better be spotless after I finish watching my show."

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Present Day

Before opening the door to the apartment Emma pulled out her cell phone. There were a few voice messages and text messages from David and Snow wondering what was wrong. Emma took a deep breath then walked inside. Snow had her phone to her ear trying to get a hold of Emma and David was in the other room with Neal. Snow put her phone down and ran over to hug Emma. "Are you okay? We got worried when you left without saying goodbye."

"Yeah I'm fine now..." Snow started to pull away but Emma clung on tighter.

"What's wrong Emma?"

Emma finally let go and looked in her mother's eyes. "Can we spend the rest of the day together. Just the two of us?"

Snow started smiling ear to ear. "I would love that."


	2. Chapter 2

*****Finally updating this story. My ideas were running dry but I finally got this chapter done. A little emotion and some fluff. Next Chapter Daddy-daughter bonding! Please leave a review, they encourage and motivate me!*****

**Chapter 2**

The spa in storybrooke wasn't very busy, so Snow and Emma were able to get in without an appointment and they didn't have to wait long either. They each got a manicure and pedicure and had a facial. After spending a few hours at the spa they headed over to the mall to do some shopping. They walked through a few stores looking at clothes and shoes. Then walked by a jewelry store.

"I want to buy you something, Emma."

"But it's so expensive here." Emma looked down at a heart shaped locket. It was cheapest item there, but it was still pretty pricey. Emma knew $200.00 was too much living off a teacher's salary. And she especially didn't want her to spend that much on her.

Snow noticed Emma eyeing the locket. "Do you like the locket?"

Emma shrugged "It's alright."

"Well I think it's lovely, and it would look beautiful on you."

Emma shook her head. "No, I don't expect you to spend that much on me."

Snow placed her hand on Emma's arm. "Why not?"

"That's a lot of money for just a necklace. You don't need to."

Snow nodded. "Okay, maybe I don't need to. But I want to. I can tell that you like it." She turned to the man behind the counter. "I'd like to buy that for my daughter."

"Excellent choice." He opened the compartment and pulled the box out to show them, then he started wrapping it up.

Emma smiled. "Thanks... Mom."

Snow beamed, hearing Emma call her mom was music to her ears. She knew it was hard for Emma, she grew up not knowing her parents and when she finally found them she found out they were fairy tale characters AND the same age as her. All of that on top of the anger and resentment growing inside of her all these years, she couldn't even imagine how hard it was for Emma to let them in. Snow rubbed the small of Emma's back.

"Hi ladies."

They turned around and saw Belle walk in smiling.

"Hello Belle." Snow smiled.

"Out shopping too?" Emma asked.

Belle shook her head. "No actually. I'm starting work here today."

"That's great. But, can't you just work at Gold's shop?"

"I wanted a little independance. Needed to get out here on my own."

Snow nodded. "Well I think that's great. Congratulations on the new job!"

"Thank you." She looked at the man behind the counter. "Hello Ben."

Ben smiled at Belle. "I'll just finish with these ladies then I'll get you all settled, and go over things with you."

"Thank you."

He handed Snow the package and she pulled out her wallet to pay for it. They said bye to Belle and started through the mall again. They decided to stop for lunch in the food court. They each ordered a burger and fries.

"Emma, how are you?"

"What? I'm fine." She took a sip of her coke and placed the cup back down twirling the straw in her pop.

"I'm worried about you. I have been for a while now. I know none of this has been easy for you."

"What?"

"Finding us, finding Henry, the new baby. It seems like we make one step closer then you pull two steps back."

Emma just stared at her burger.

"When we were in Neverland you told me when you were in the foster system you felt like you didn't matter and didn't think you ever would. Do you still feel that way?"

"Sometimes." Emma said sheeplessly.

Snow reached for Emma's hand and lifted it and kissed her knuckles. "You matter to me. You've always mattered to me. You need to understand that."

Emma avoided eye contact and tears escaped her eyes. "Then why?"

"Why what?"

Emma pulled her hand away and she shifted around in her seat. "Why did I have to be alone? Why couldn't we be together as a family like you guys are with Neal? Why didn't you keep me? I know what you're going to say... to give me my best chance. But was it really my best chance? Didn't I matter enough to have someone there to guide me, to wipe my tears, to TELL me that I matter?"

Anger was growing from the pit of Snow's stomach. Everything Emma was saying was true. She should have been there for her daughter. They should have been a family.

"This isn't fair." Emma jumped up knocking over her new package and she ran to the bathroom crying.

Snow picked up the parcel then went after her. She slowly walked into the bathroom, locked the door and saw Emma against the wall in a fetal position crying into her knees. Snow held her hand over her heart watching her first born. Regina might as well have crushed her heart that time she went to her house, it would have hurt less than this.

Snow sat down beside her and pulled her long blonde her behind her ears and wrapped her arms around her daughter and just let her cry for a few moments.

Emma sat up and wiped her eyes and looked at Snow. "I'm sorry."

Snow wiped away Emma's tears with her thumb. "No, don't ever apologize for that. You have every right to be upset, or angry. You're right it isn't fair. We should have been a family. You and Neal should have grown up together. I should have been there for you, and it kills me. That's why it was so hard for me to forgive Regina. We gave her chance after chance to change. And then she set the curse which caused me to lose you. Because you mean so much to me. You didn't have the life I planned for you, but at least you had a life. So yes I believe it was your best chance because Regina would have killed you because you were a threat to her curse. And that was not an option, I was not going to let that happen."

Emma half smiled. "Archie said just as much."

"You went to see Archie?"

Emma nodded. "I didn't listen to him. He told me not to dwell on the past and to focus on what we have now."

"He's right I don't want you to dwell on it. However, I want you to come to me. If you ever want to talk about it, it you ever want to scream or throw things come to me. Because I'm just as angry about it as you are. But I'm so grateful and so relieved that we have a second chance. At least we have that."

Emma leaned back against Snow, and Snow kissed her forehead.

"You know when Hook and I returned from the past through the portal. I told you and Dad that I missed you... I didn't just mean those few days in the Enchanted Forest. I meant I've missed you my whole life."

"I know." Snow rested her head on her daughter's.

"Archie suggested I spend one on one time with you and Dad."

"I think that's a wonderful idea. I love all of us together as a family but I want time for just the two of us too."

"Me too." Emma reached for Snow's hand and they interlocked their fingers. "Mom?"

Snow smiled."Yes?"

"I know this is going to sound weird... and awkward. But can you maybe suggest to Dad that he and I spend time together. Then he'll think it's your idea."

"I'm sure he'd rather it come from you."

"But I feel weird asking him."

"Okay, if you want me to I will. But just this once, after that you're on your own okay?"

"No, I'm not. I'm not on my own anymore."

Snow smiled down at her daughter. "That's right honey, you'll never be alone again." Snow pulled the locket out of the packaging and lifted Emma's hair and put it on her.


	3. Chapter 3

******Well here's the conclusion to this short story! If you're reading my other story you'll get the Neal/Winnie the pooh reference :D And if you haven't read my other story yet please check it out: s/10479846/1/A-Simple-Twist-of-Fate . It's called a Simple twist of fate. Family/adventure. Charming and Snow are raising Emma and Neal in the EF; Robin, Regina, Roland are in it quite a bit, and Rumpel/Belle are in it a bit plus a lot of other fairy tale type characters that haven't appeared on the show(plus one's that have.)**

**Anyway hope you enjoy the ending and please leave a review! Cheers! :) ******

**Chapter 3**

Emma and Snow dropped their purses and shopping bags at the front door and kicked their shoes off. Charming was sitting on the floor playing with a giggling Neal. Charming was making goof ball faces at him. Emma and Snow couldn't help but laugh. He got embarrassed and picked up Neal. "Oh uh... hi girls!"

"We didn't mean to interrupt." Emma chuckled.

He laughed. "How was your ladies day out?"

Snow rubbed Emma's arm and smiled. "One of the best days ever."

Emma smiled. "Yeah it was really special."

"And how was your day with Dad?" Snow walked over and took Neal from Charming, kissing his cheek.

Charming smiled. "We had lots of fun, until he left me a little present 20 minutes ago." He scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Oh thank goodness, now I don't have to change him."

"Yeah lucky for you... So what did my favourite girls buy today?"

"Some clothes, shoes and Mom bought me this locket." Emma lifted the locket to show her dad.

"I like it."

Snow smiled at Emma and turned to Charming. "Emma and I really had a great time today."  
He smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

"In fact, Emma is so much fun to have one on one time with, I think you should take her to the carnival tomorrow. I can't hog her all to myself."

Emma stared at her feet and shuffled them anxiously.

He grinned. "I think that's a great idea. If you're up to it Emma?"

She blushed, she couldn't help but feel like a little girl wanting to spend time with her Daddy. "Well... if you really want to."

"I do. It's perfect you were going to pick up Henry there anyway since he'll be there with Regina."

Emma smiled looking admiringly at her Dad.

"Let's get up bright and early so we can get started on our big day." He kissed the top of her head.

Snow winked at Emma.

"Emwha!" They all looked at Neal.

"He said his first word!" Snow had tears in her eyes. "He's calling for his big sister."

Emma beamed and took Neal from Snow. "Hey there big guy." She kissed his forehead.

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Emma climbed into her nice warm bed and picked up her cell phone. She dialed Hook's number. He picked up right away.

"Swan."

"Hi Hook."

"Good to hear your voice, love."

"Look, I'm sorry I've been pushing you away."

Hook just listened.

"I realize I need to stop pushing people away, including you. Can we do dinner on Monday?"

"Yes of course. I have no other plans."

"Ok great, I'll see you then."

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Emma and Charming giggled as they got off the roller coaster. He lifted his arm out and Emma looped arms with him.

"You screamed pretty loud up there." Emma teased her Dad.

"Well that was a pretty big drop. I was worried my daughter was scared."

"I was too busy laughing at you to be scared."

He grinned. "What would you like to do next?"

"How about the slide? It's right here."

They climbed up and grabbed a potato sack, but there was only one left.

"Hey, where's the rest of the potato sacks?" Emma asked the carny.

He spat out the side of his mouth. "Three kids just slid down in them." He pointed down and some kids were just getting up. He looked Emma up and down and slapped her bottom. "How about you and me tonight, baby?"

Charming's face went fuming red like smoke was about to blow out of his ears and he punched the carny in the face. "Nobody talks to my daughter like that!" He pushed him against the fence.

"Come on Emma." Charming sat on the potato sack and Emma sat on his lap the two laughed as they went down the slide together.

"Thanks for that." Emma half smiled as they kept walking.

"No man should treat you like that."

"You were right..."

"About what?"

"That we should live for the moments. And that was a pretty awesome moment."

"I'm confused... I thought that was a bad moment."

"It's just nice to know that you've got my back."

He smiled. "I will always protect you."

"Thanks... and the look on his face after you punched him was priceless."

He laughed. "It was, wasn't it?"

They started walking passed the different games and they came across a shooting game.

"Hit the bullseye! Come right on up here! Prizes Prizes Prizes!" The carny advertized his game.

Charming handed the man some money and took the gun. "This one's for you Emma." She shot at the target and got the bullseye.

"Good job there dude." The carny took the gun back. "Your choice of bear." They looked up and there were all kinds of stuffed bears, big ones small ones.

"Any one you'd like, Emma."

"I'm too old for stuffed animals."  
"No you're not. Have you seen your mother's closet? Given it was cursed Mary Margaret who collected them, she hasn't gotten rid of her collection of stuffed bears, and we don't even have room to hang clothes in there."

Emma laughed. "Yes, I have seen it before. I don't want to become a hoarder like her."

He shook his head. "It's getting a little ridiculous." He teased his wife who wasn't even there. "But point is, I won a bear for my daughter and she's leaving here with a stuffed bear."

She smiled. "Okay, okay. "I'll take the brown one."

The carny handed the brown bear to Emma. Then she handed it to her father. "Now it's my turn." She handed the carny some money and shot the bulls eye.

Charming smirked. "You didn't have to win me a stuffed bear."

"I didn't." She pointed to the Winnie the Pooh bear. "I'll take that one."

"Is it for Henry?"

"Are you kidding? At his age if I brought him home a stuffed animal he wouldn't speak to me for a month. It's for my brother."

He smiled. "He'll love it."

"Hey Gramps! Hi Mom!" Henry and Regina appeared behind them. Henry hugged Emma.

"Hey kid! How has your weekend been? Enjoying the carnival?"

"Yeah, I managed to get my mom on a roller coaster, it was hilarious."

"I don't think almost throwing up is hilarious." Regina's face was still a little green, and Emma and Charming were trying not to laugh.

"I take it rides aren't your thing, Regina?"

"I came here to spend time with Henry, he wanted to come and it was my weekend so..." She ran over to a garbage can and threw up. She wiped her mouth with a kleenex from her pocket. I should get home."

"Do you need a ride?"

"No, Robin and Roland are here. We came here with them, he's taking me."

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They met Snow and Neal in the park for a picnic dinner. Snow and Neal were sitting on a blanket waiting for them. Henry kept trying to sneak bites of his cotton candy that Emma bought him.

"Henry, you'll spoil your dinner. I told you it's for dessert." Emma ran her hand through Henry's brown hair.

"Can't we skip dinner and just eat the cotton candy?"

"No, your grandmother went to a lot of trouble to make us dinner." They went over and joined Snow and Neal.

"Hey, how was the carnival?"

"It was great," Emma sat beside her mother. "You'll be thrilled to know we're bring home two new teddy bears. Pretty soon the apartment will be overflowing with them, miss hoarder."

Snow rolled her eyes. "I don't have that many. You and your father just over exaggerate."

"You do have a lot Grams." Henry added with a chuckle.

"You've been into my closet too?" Snow shook her head. "Did you just bring the bears home to rattle me?"

"No... Dad won one for me on one of the games. And I won the other for Neal."

Snow smiled. "That's so sweet."

"Yeah..." Emma picked up Neal. "Well I'll let you two argue with Henry on whether we eat the cotton candy or our actual dinner first."

Snow smiled watching Emma carry her brother and the Winnie the Pooh over to the park bench.

Emma bounced Neal on her lap. "Hey there, sweet prince. I won this for you today." She showed him the bear. "He's called Pooh, it was one of my faves growing up." He hugged the bear. "I know it's weird you must think I'm really old. Too old to be your sister. But none of that matters okay? I'm always going to be there for you. I don't know if we'll fight like other siblings or if we'll annoy each other. We probably would have growing up together. But even if we did grow up together I would have always protected you anyway, and no matter our age difference I will still protect you always." She opened her new locket to show him. "This is just between me and you." One one side of the locket was a picture of Henry holding Neal, and on the other side was a picture of her parents together. "From now on we will always be together, all of us." She hugged her brother tight.


End file.
